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WORST OF BILLY DISASTER

Updated: Nov 15, 2021

CHICK FLICKS


Chick Flicks With Billy Disaster #20. Last nights movie was Friends With Kids starring Adam Scott and Jennifer Westfeldt. (Kristen Wiig, John Hamm and Maya Rudolph were supporting actors in this movie?...weird)...This movie was...WHITE. Not mid western Trump white but big city “Friends” white privilege white. I felt like my house was invaded by gentrification. It’s like someone just opened a Pilates studio in my kitchen. This movie listens to The Dave Matthews band. This movie was so white it has season tickets to The Sounders. This movie just ordered a pumpkin spice half decaf 2 pump latte. This movie was so white it just went skiing in Whistler. (This is fun..)..anyway it’s about a a guy and a girl who are best friends and single and they want to have a baby together but just remain friends and blah blah fucking blah. 1 rose 🌹for Friends With Kids . Tonight’s movie (Never Been Kissed) will be the final installment of Chick Flicks with Billy Disaster:(. It’s been so fun! December will be Holiday Movies with Billy Disaster! I hope you’ll join me. ♥️you


HOLIDAY FLICKS

Holiday Flicks with Billy Disaster #15. Last nights movie was Mixed Nuts starring Madeline Kahn and Steve Martin. This movie was recommended to me by someone who warned me that she watched it in a “special mood”...and well, that may be the only way to enjoy this one. This was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even make it halfway through. I actually started dry heaving when Adam Sandler🤢made his appearance. The only thing that made me happy about this was that it lost like 13 million dollars. And Madeline Kahn who is funny no matter what she does. But what a waste of a killer cast (except Adam Sandler) I hope I never see this movie again. 1 Santa for Mixed Nuts🎅🏼 . Tonight’s movie will be The Night Before.


WESTERN FLICKS


Western flicks with Billy Disaster #8. Last nights movie was Shanghai Noon starring Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan. Imagine if Nickleback and Pizza Hut got drunk and had a one night stand, got pregnant, and had a baby. That baby would be Shanghai Noon. This movie is the 2020 of westerns. Only Helen Keller could love this movie. This is the Mitch McConnell of westerns. I hope Biden’s 1st act as president is to sanction Hollywood and demand an apology for making this. 1 Shot for Shanghai Noon🥃 . Tonight‘s movie will be A FistFull of Dollars. ♥️you (except you Shanghai Noon)


WES ANDERSON FLICKS

Wes Anderson Flicks With Billy Disaster #6. Last nights movie was The Squid and the Whale starring Jeff Daniels, Laura Linney, Owen Cline, and Jesse Eisenberg. So this is not a true Wes Anderson flick. He was a producer but it wasn’t written or directed by him. That being said, the terrific screenplay has his influence all over it. It’s a story that takes place in 1985 about 2 school age brothers whose pseudo intellectual parents are going through a bad divorce. The mom (Linney) (total asshole) has been having affairs and the dad (Daniels) is an overly intellectual college professor (total douche) whose career is in a rut. The movie focuses on how the 2 sons come to grips with their family breaking up and it’s depressing as hell. Which is weird because this movie is kind of an independent art drama that tries (successfully) to also be a comedy. I had a difficult time with it. The pain that the kids go through is truly painful and the reality of the situation is not something to laugh at. However, the screenplay is so great that it does have a ton of cleverly funny moments. 3 Ziggies for The Squid and the Whale👨🏼‍🎤👨🏼‍🎤👨🏼‍🎤 . Tonight‘s movie will be Moonrise Kingdom. ♥️You


ALFRED HITCHCOCK FLICKS

Hitchcock Flicks With Billy Disaster #3. Last nights movie was The Man Who Knew Too Much starring James Stewart and Doris Day. The opening credits set over the live orchestra with music of Bernard Herrmann was so cool it got me pumped for this flick. And the culmination in the final act with the orchestra playing the music of Arthur Benjamin was truly beautiful. And I loved the silent movie treatment in that scene. However the rest of the movie was not what I had hoped. 1st of all, Stewart and Day’s son Hank played by Christopher Olsen was annoying and the combination with the flowery Doris Day made this movie feel too Disney like. The fact that he gets kidnapped and the parental anguish that follows was too upsetting. I hate when bad things happen to kids (even if the kid is annoying). Compared to Rear Window (HFWBD#2) the dialogue doesn’t even come close to making the characters as interesting. I found myself wishing I was watching the original 1934 version (also by Hitchcock)...is it better? I’ve never seen it. Que sera sera. 3 Knives for The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956)🔪🔪🔪 . Tonight’s movie will be Vertigo. ♥️You


SCARY FLICKS

Scary Movies with Billy Disaster #2. Last nights movie was The Perfection directed by Richard Shepherd. I thought this would be cool since it’s about a classical cello teacher and his prodigies. It start out well with good characters acted well and great music. Then it goes irresponsibly downhill. I won’t give anything away about the story but I will say that this could’ve been so much better with just a slight change of decision making. I don’t recommend this movie. 2 Skulls for The Perfection💀💀 . Tonight’s movie is gonna be Pihu recommend by my sister



. I’m scared.


80's FLICKS

80’s Flicks With Billy Disaster #9. Last nights movie was Repo Man starring Emilio Estevez and Harry Dean Stanton. (80’s with Katy #3!). Well, shit. I’m in a bit of trouble here. Some people whom I respect a lot (including my daughter Elan) love this movie. Professional movie reviewers also love this movie because it’s unique and the director Alex Cox did a lot with a limited indie budget. And please don’t get me wrong, there were things that I dug about this. Mostly the soundtrack. The opening sequence music (instrumental version of the Iggy Pop theme song ) was awesome! And it was great to hear some Black Flag and Suicidal Tendencies in a movie from 1984. And Harry Dean Stanton is always consistent. However, Katy and I did not love this. Maybe we’re not as hip and snobby about “film” as Elan and all of those jaded reviewers, but we just weren’t entertained by this. (BTW, I never use the word “film” in my reviews as I always felt that it was a little pretentious..). Anyway, I’m really sorry to all my Repo Man loving homies but I’m only giving 2 Madonnas to Repo Man👰‍♀️👰‍♀️. Please go easy on me. Tonight’s movie, 9 to 5 will be the final 80’s Flick With Billy Disaster (and 80’s With Katy!). Don’t forget to get in on Flicks Trivia With Billy Disaster on billydisaster.com. Where the winner gets to pick the next genre! The contest will be on the site Sunday night. ♥️You


ACTION FLICKS

Action Flicks With Billy Disaster #9 . Last nights movie was The Wandering Earth starring Man-Tat Ng. Imagine if Independence Day, Armageddon and The Day the Earth Stood Still got together, did some Ecstasy and had a ménage a Trois, but couldn’t figure out who knocked who up, but still had a baby, they would’ve named it The Wandering Earth. And then this baby grew up to be a misguided asshole who couldn’t make its own decisions but still thinks he’s gods gift to action flicks. Jesus this movie sucked. Tom Hanks said after making the abysmal Greyhound (a WWII submarine movie) that they never filmed in water and that it was all CGI. He said that that’s how movies will be made from now on because the technology has gotten so good. Well that’s bullshit. What you get is lame and soulless movies that look like video games. And The Wandering Earth is a CGI video game that threw up on itself. It was also one cliché after another. If someone recommends this movie to you, kick them in the shin and run away as fast as you can. 1 Bomb for The Wandering Earth 💣. Tonight’s movie will be Cliffhanger and will be the final installment of this series. I hope you’ll join me for Musical Flicks With Billy Disaster coming next week! ♥️ You #moviereview#moviereviews#thewanderingearth#actionmovies


MUSICAL FLICKS

Musical Flicks With Billy Disaster #4


Last nights movie was was Moulin Rouge starring Nicole Kidman♥️ and Ewan McGregor.


Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Nicole Kidman is so drop dead gorgeous that I couldn’t take my eyes off of the screen (as much as I wanted to at times. We’ll get to that in a sec). She was such a fox in this movie. And ultimately, her performance was terrific. As was everyone else in this. Particularly Jim Broadbent as Harold Zidler who dominated his role and reminded me of The Wizard of Oz. And Richard Roxburgh as The Duke who was such a great comedic Monty Python style character.


The love triangle story in this was beautiful and sad. McGragor’s jealous heartbreak as well as his ultimate heartbreak was truly, well, heartbreaking. Him and Kidman were also terrific in the hilarious sex/poetry reading confusion sequence. Perhaps the highlight of this flick. The sets, lighting, and costumes were all killer...


....BUT THEN....THERE IS THE MUSIC🤢. When the 1st medley with”Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend with Madonna’s “Material Girl” and then throwing in Nirvana? Please! The music upset me so much that I developed Tourette’s syndrome. And when they went into Elton John’s “Your Song”?🤮 Well let’s just say I have to buy a new TV. I did not like the fact that they abused these songs and didn’t write their own. It was cheap and disengaging. Is the 1952 version any good? I’m curious. 3 Travoltas for Moulin Rouge🕺🏽🕺🏽🕺🏽 . Tonight’s movie will be Bugsy Malone. ♥️ you #moviereview #moviereviews #moulinrouge #nicolekidman



ZOMBIE FLICKS

Zombie Flicks With Billy Disaster #10


Last nights movie was World War Z starring Brad Pitt


Had I watched this movie at the beginning of this 2 week series I might have been more into it. But having seen so many great flicks and having learned what I have about the genre, this one was pretty embarrassing. Brad Pitt must have watched 28 Days and Weeks Later and thought, “we should make our own zombie flick and spend $200 million on it”...problem is, this movie doesn’t hold a candle to either of those films.


The scene where Brad Pitt is flying in an airliner that ends up having a zombie stowaway on it that infects most of the other passengers is a lot like an incredible scene in Train to Busan. It is a cool and exciting scene but it’s nowhere near as clever and effective as Train to Busan. And that’s kind of the deal with this entire movie. It’s big and expensive with lots of action, but it’s painfully ineffective.


There was a truly awful sequence where Pitt survives the airliner crash out in the middle of nowhere. He’s terribly injured with a long piece of metal protruding through his gut, yet he manages to walk (hundreds of miles? We don’t know.) and find the World Health Organization where he can SAVE THE WORLD ! YAY!!!


OH! And also while he was on that plane, he peers out the window and Hey look! There’s a nuclear bomb going off!... And that’s it..just a another blockbuster ingredient with no contribution to the story or sense of danger.


Of the 10 zombie movies Rosco and I have reviewed for this series, this was the worst one. 2 Brains for World War Z🧠🧠.


So that’s it for Zombie Flicks With Billy Disaster. Thanks for the recommendations and for following along. I hope you’ll join me for the next series Disaster Flicks With Billy Disaster! (earthquakes, tidal waves, tornadoes, alien invasions etc.!) any recommendations? Also, please check out billydisaster.com for all the past series. ♥️You


DISASTER FLICKS

Disaster Flicks With Billy Disaster #4 Last nights movie was The Poseidon Adventure starring Gene Hackman and Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka


I always worry about reviewing a movie that I didn’t like very much because I know that some people are gonna get all pissed off at me. But here it goes anyway...


I’ll start by saying I didn’t hate EVERYTHING about this..The production design by William J. Creber (The Towering Inferno)(DFWBD#2) was truly spectacular. And the sea sickening filming was pretty awesome and effective. Oh, and the special effects of when the wave is coming in to fuck everything up for The Poseidon was terrifying and I was excited for the rest of the movie.


But then there was Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine. Holy Hell they were awful in this. They spent the majority of this movie way over acting and screaming at everyone. I love both of them in other films but I truly despised them in this. It actually took me two viewings to finish it because they got on my nerves so bad. And for some reason I never felt really engaged in the story. It’s not like I didn’t like the other characters, but when some of them died, I just didn’t care. I guess I was just too taken out of it by the shitty acting by Hackman and Borgnine that I just yawned. The story lacked inventiveness and didn’t achieve the suspense it was going for and I ended up being super disappointed by this . 2 Pornadoes for The Poseidon Adventure🌪🌪 . Tonight’s movie will be Pandora (Netflix) ♥️You #MovieReview #MovieReviews #theposeidonadventure


JIM JARMUSCH

Jarmusch Flicks With Billy Disaster #9


Last nights movie was Permanent Vacation starring Chris Parker and John Lurie.


This movie was boring. It was kind of engaging and it’s definitely worth watching JJ’s 1st flick after leaving film school. It is pretty cool that someone can make (basically) a student film and conjure up as much emotion as it does with a budget of $12,000 and 16mm film. However, it’s pretty depressing and the characters and locations are elements I’d like to forget. Perhaps it’s because I’ve watched 9 Jarmusch flicks in a row, but I’m ready to move beyond paying such close attention to the human condition and character study. Forgive me but it’s kinda wearing me down:). 2 Shrooms for Permanent Vacation 🍄🍄. Tonight‘s movie will be Only Lovers Left Alive. ♥️You


MARVEL FLICKS

Marvel Flicks With Billy Disaster #4. Last nights movie was Thor: The Dark World starring Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman.


What is it with Natalie Portman taking stupid roles in terrible movies? (Her role in the Star Wars movies was fucking awful🤢)…There’s a scene where Thor and Jane (Portman) are talking in the streets… Jane: “Where were you? I was waiting and I was crying and blah blah blah” Thor: “I know but wars were raging, marauders were pillaging. I had to put an end to the slaughter.” Jane: “As excuses go, its not terrrible”🤮…That dialogue is maybe the worst I’ve ever heard. How do these writers get away with shit like this? I puked so hard that I threw out my back and sprained my knee.


I know that by doing this series that I’m gonna have to get used to movies made with 99% CGI and that’s fine, there is a ton of great artwork in this flick. Too bad it was wasted on such a shitty one.


The best part about this movie was the deep sleep I got taking a nap halfway through. It was like getting on a plane in seattle, closing eyes and waking up in Chicago. I was grateful that I missed a lot of this one. 1 Super Hero for Thor: The Dark World 🦸🏽‍♀️. Tonight’s movie will be Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Please let it be better than Thor! Please! ♥️You billydisaster.com#moviereview #moviereviews #mcu #thor #marvel #marvelstudios


ROCKUMENTARY FLICKS

Rockumentary Flicks With Billy Disaster #10 Last nights movie was Echo in the Canyon.

This doc was with Jacob Dylan doing a concert playing music that came out of the Laurel Canyon area in the 1960s . Intertwined are interviews with people who made that music like Crosby Stills and Nash, Eric Clapton, Brian Wilson, and MY NEW CELEBRITY GIRLFRIEND MICHELLE PHILLIPS!! Damn she was stunning back in her Mamas and the Papas days! Wow!

There are also interviews with the artists that participated in the concert like Beck, Cat Power, and Nora Jones♥️ among others.

This flick explores the awesome vibe and creativity that was present in Laurel Canyon in the 60s that resulted in some of the greatest music of that era. Most noteably Buffaloe Springfield, The Beach Boys and The Mamas and the Papas. There is some cool old footage of those days as well as some pretty good stories about the experiences with those that experienced it.

However, this wasn’t a well made documeantary. As much as it featured some intersesting people with their great music, it lacked any sort of story that builds into any thing. Its just a bunch of snippets of the cool shit that happened there. And it seemed like Jacob Dylan was just using it as an excuse to promote himself singing with music stars who CRUSH him in the talent department. He’s a decent musician and seems like a nice dude, but he should’ve taken himself out of this and focused on the subject at hand. And he spends about 45 seconds on the fact that Frank Zappa was a big part of this scene? Please. 2 Horns for Echo in the Canyon🤘🤘 . Welp thats it for now for Rockumentary Flicks. I hope you’ll join me for Marvel Flicks With Billy Disaster! ♥️You billydisater.com#moviereview #moviereviews


CONSPIRACY FLICKS

Conspiracy Flicks With Billy Disaster #1 . Last nights movie was The Da Vinci Code starring Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou.


We are not off to a great start to this Conspiracy Flicks series. This movie was a total let down and I wanted it to end about 2 hours before it did.


The 1st thing that bothered me was the music by Hans Zimmer. I recognize that he’s great at what he does, but I don’t like his music. It’s just kind of serviceable and his score in this flick is my least favorite of what I’ve heard of his. And the real problem is that it never EVER ends in this movie. It’s constantly present and it annoyed the living shit out of me. And I hate the name Hans.


Another downfall of this movie was the acting. Tom Hanks was the wrong choice to play the lead character as his performance was way too safe and friendly with no sense of suspense or danger. Perhaps the script hindered him from being more dynamic. His co-star, Audrey Tautou as Sophie was even worse. Her and Hanks had perhaps the worst chemistry of any duo I’ve ever seen in a movie. I’m pretty certain they would agree with me.


The only real highlight in this was Ian Mckellen as Sir Teabing. He brought a charismatic comic relief that kept me from turning this pile of shit off midway. He’s so good that even the terrible script couldn’t keep him down.


I’m sure everyone knows the story of this film as it seems that everyone on earth read it. (Except for me). The story was actually pretty cool and I appreciated the risks it took with taking on the Catholic Church and some of it’s troubling history. It’s too bad this movie didn’t do it more justice.


I considered seeing the sequel, Angels & Demons, but there is no way in hell I’m going to after suffering through this. 1 Detective for The Da Vinci Code 🕵️. Tonight’s movie will be The Parallax View. ♥️You Billydisaster.com#moviereview #moviereviews #thedavinvicode


SAM ROCKWELL FLICKS

Rockwell Flicks With Billy Disaster #10 . Last nights movie was Vice starring Christian Bale and Sam Rockwell.


The very best thing about this flick was Steve Carell as Donald Rumsfeld. He was funny and charismatic and actually looked and sounded like Rumsfeld without it looking like he was doing an impression. Kinda like Dana Carvey’s George Bush Sr. on SNL. “Wouldn’t wanna do it, wouldn’t be prudent” .


That being said, everyone else in this movie looks like they’re doing an impression of their character. They’re pretty good impressions, (especially Rockwell doing George W), but impressions nonetheless.


If you ignore that this is based on true events, then this is an enjoyable watch. It’s cleverly made and kinda fun.


However, this movie stretches a lot of facts and is vindictive and condescending. I personally hate politicians and politics because it makes people..well.. vindictive and condescending.


While there are some entertaining scenes (particularly the restaurant scene), the story is poorly told and just feels like collection of complaints and conspiracy theories without being a good Conspiracy Flick.


I imagine that right wingers hate this movie and left wingers love it. I thought it was mediocre. 2 Moons for Vice .


Welp, that’s it for Rockwell Flicks. What a killer ride! My favorite was 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. I hope you’ll join me for the next series…New York Flicks With Billy Disaster! Any suggestions? You billydisaster.com#moviereview #moviereviews #moviereviewer #samrockwell #vice @officialsamrockwell @dailysamrockwell @samrockwell_pics


NEW YORK FLICKS

New York Flicks With Billy Disaster #9. Last nights movie was The Warriors starring Michael Beck and David Patrick Henry.


I always worry about reviewing “Cult Classics” as it seems that the people that love them saw these flicks at a certain time of their lives where they could be most effected by it. Cult Classics also have a reputation of being kind of “B” movies that don’t appeal to the majority of movie lovers.


The Warriors has a much better reputation than that as almost everyone I’ve talked to loves this flick, but to me it felt like that Cult Classic that I saw at the wrong age.


I did appreciate the overall story and feeling of this flick. The suspense had me nervous throughout and I recognize why a few of the scene were so iconic.


However I couldn’t help feeling like the producers gave a few million dollars to a sophomore film student. The acting was cartoonishly awful and the ensemble scenes were like watching a elementary school play. Every character (except Lynne Thigpen the DJ) was really unlike able. Especially that asshole Luther (David Patrick Kelly).


I’m wish that I could’ve have seen this as a teenager. I probably would have dug it a lot more. But 2 Lady Liberties for The Warriors 🗽🗽. Tonight’s movie will be Escape from New York and will be the final flick in the New York series. ♥️You. billydisaster.com